The Tyranny of the Cubicle

ImageWell, my book is out. You can order your copy here.

I also talk about it on PorcTherapy with host Stephanie Murphy.

I’m a bit apprehensive to have my life out on display in this book for everyone to see. Not that the transparency and judgment is anything new…

I’m hoping to get off probation in January. At least, that’s what the judge said he would consider or at least take me off of “formal” probation so I can leave the county!! Then I am OUT of this crazy state. Seriously, things seem to get worse exponentially, day by day.

A couple weeks ago, LAPD and DCFS came and took my roommate’s newborn. That’s sent me on a bit of a tailspin. And that was followed by my office asking that our “ties be severed” by voicemail… a bit like having your boyfriend breaking up with you by text.

ImageAnd then, of course, these things happen and my supporters, family and friends want to know what I’m doing to MAKE these things happen. Either I have not “manifested” enough blessings or I am “inviting” drama.

This leaves me to the uncomfortable pondering of Haitian orphans and babies with HIV and starving babies in Somalia… what did they DO to deserve their pain?

My answer can only be that they have done NOTHING different than the babies raised in a white picket home in the suburbs. For whatever reason, God has seen fit to put me here in this time and place. I cannot wait to see the reason, because I TRUST that it is worth it.

Of course, I do have ears to hear what I am saying and a part of me feels those words as a hollow eyed solution and words of desperation. Kind of like reading Ann Frank’s words in hiding, “Despite all this, I still believe in the goodness of humanity.”

Well, I DON’T. But I do still hold to the goodness of God.

Unfortunately, that stand does nothing right now for the splitting headache and lack of drive to do anything but lay in bed and wish to wake up several months later and find this was all over. If only I could hibernate… at least then I wouldn’t use up the groceries.

I’m glad my roommate is here… she does dishes, cleans and cooks to keep herself from going mad with how much she worries about and misses her children. If I were the only adult here, my dishes would be piled high and there would be no clean clothes. Roaches and flies would have infested our bathroom and kitchen.

Her husband works tirelessly at the endless paper trail to somehow feel like battle is being waged for his babies, locked in a bloated and overstepping system of evil.

And my children play video games and instruments and dig holes in the ground just to fill them back up again. To make the lingering days pass until we can be free and I can work again.

Somehow it appears things will get worse again before they get better. I don’t know that I will recognize freedom since I have fallen into a cozy depressed apathy in these chains. Is this how they kill people slowly? Is this what makes addicts who become the skid row street dwellers I used to serve on community service?

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About supportmidwifekatiemccall

Katie McCall was born at Pomona Valley Hospital in Southern California by scheduled c-section as a frank breech due to the current medical system insistence that breeches should always be delivered that way. Katie's father's family was filled with teachers, her mother's family was filled with healers. It is no surprise then, that she went on to have her own two children and spend her adult life involved in a combination of teaching and healing through midwifery, childbirth education, doula work and serving families in Southern California. Katie attended USC for her general education and then went on to study with the American Academy of Husband Coached Childbirth to become a certified childbirth educator. Shortly thereafter, she certified as a birth doula (labor assistant) with the Association of Labor Assistants and Childbirth Educators. Katie was also mentored through a pregnancy and birth support business called The Birth Connection in Glendale, CA, which Katie later purchased and expanded to include a 1500 square foot education facility, retail store and birthing center. She enrolled in midwifery school and apprenticed with the midwives who ran the birth center as well as with midwives who attended homebirths. She sold her business to pursue her midwifery education full time in 2006 and passed her midwifery (NARM) exam to become a Certified Professional Midwife in 2008. She went on to gain her Midwifery License from the State of CA Medical Board in 2010. Katie has received supplementary education in lactation to become a lactation educator, vaginal birth after cesarean support, support of sexual abuse survivors, aromatherapy and is neonatal and CPR certified. She assisted over 500 couples through childbirth education and attended over 550 births as of 2011. As a Southern California native, she has a wide range of experience, serving mothers from diverse backgrounds. She believes her job is one of empowering women to develop their own trust and connection with their bodies and their babies during their own unique journey into motherhood. If she has learned anything through her experience with birth, it is that every birth is as different as the women who are laboring. On August 17th, 2011 Katharine “Katie” McCall, a licensed midwife, was convicted of practicing medicine with out a license for a 2007 birth she assisted as a student. The charge arose from a home birth where Katie's supervising midwife could not arrive because she was at another birth. Instead of leaving the family to birth unassisted, Katie stayed. She recommended that the family transfer to the hospital and the family refused. They were aware that she was only a student midwife and that she was unable to secure an overseeing mid View all posts by supportmidwifekatiemccall

5 responses to “The Tyranny of the Cubicle

  • PFD

    First of all, no. This is NOT what happens to addicts who end up on Skid Row. They have a disease, addiction, which takes over their lives and ultimately destroys them if they cannot find a way to recovery. Second, chin up! You are young. You have published a book. You are smart and capable. Now it’s time to stop spending all your energy wailing and crying against the system and using that spent energy to work with the system toward your own success. Believe me, I know. Several years ago I was in a much deeper hole than you are in now and the only way I could stop the madness was to accept that these are the way things are and to conquer the system by conforming and working with it to do the things I WANT TO DO. Now I am successful, happy and fulfilled. And the only one in control of my destiny is me.

    • supportmidwifekatiemccall

      Thank you for your input. Which system should I work with? What exactly would you suggest I do? The system has told me there is nothing I can do. Which is why I believe the system should be changed, not conformed to. You are the only one in control of your destiny? That’s a lot of power. If I had that kind of power I would never get sick and never die. I guess that would be cool.

    • supportmidwifekatiemccall

      “It’s all right to tell a man to lift himself by his own bootstraps, but it is cruel jest to say to a bootless man that he ought to lift himself by his own bootstraps.”
      ― Martin Luther King Jr.

  • Zen Mama

    Your last sentence … I think you hit the nail on the head.

    So sorry.

  • TY

    Wow that is heartless!!!

    You should work to change the system…maybe some day it will change.
    It’s very cruel to take away someones passion especially when that passion was doing hundreds of people good.
    Such a shame.
    Their loss.

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